Long journey to healthy

Set my WLS surgery date for 3-20-17.  I wanted to have it before my 41st bday when I officially became older than my mother lived to be.   Maybe two days before my bday was a bad call, but we went out of town for my last hurrah March 3-6, 2017, which coincided with the 20th Anniversary of Mom's death.    It was a great trip, and also very frustrating as I realized just how fat I really was.  (294 at my heaviest). On 3-6-17 I began the two week pre-op liquid diet.  Two weeks of five protein shakes a day, every three hours.  I could have also have chicken broth and SF jello.  Oh boy.  I first and foremost stayed away from people, and secondly, forbid anyone to eat around me.  Those ended up being good calls. I will tell you that anyone that tells you they are mentally strong, and have done a two week liquid diet, believe them. I cannot express in words what a mind fuck, what a struggle this was.  No one was hurt during t...

Ive just recently decided to publish this blog that has, in many ways, been a private journey through my struggles with illness and my weight.   The struggle has been ongoing long before the Internet existed; I think I may have been "normal" sized at age 10.  After that, just fat.   In many ways I have gone up and down with my struggles, like most people do.   I have been smaller and huge, but never "normal" weight as an adult.    I came close after my mom died; weighing in at 190, but that was a result of trauma, and not eating for about six months.  Im not sure what kept me alive at that time, but it certainly wasnt all of the beer I was drinking.   I was the smallest Ive been as an adult, and very very unhealthy.    Shortly after I got pregnant, and gained a whopping 70 pounds during that nine months.   Today my baby is nineteen, and I am about at what I weighed when I gave birth.  ...